There are times I allow myself to be haunted by the past. From every small wrongdoing to the largest of mistakes, I keep track of the degree of self projected guilt I should be festering. Thereafter reinforcing more unwarranted behaviours and continuing the cycle of guilt and self-loathing. I intellectually understand the benefits of forgiveness and yet with my wavering concepts of self-worth, I find myself unable to fully disengage from this negative tape playing in my head.
As always, I have moments when I am fully connected and these issues fade to the sideline. But what to do in moments when old thought patterns seem to be limitlessly powerful?
"Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace is transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender. "
- Eckhart Tolle
I am reminded once again to take a step out of these painful moments and simply observe the patterns without losing myself in it. I cannot talk myself out of my current state, so why do I try? Every experience is an opportunity for growth and learning when, fully embraced.
And so, I embrace these moments of discomfort; grateful for the lessons of forgiveness. I am being shown the areas that are still in need of healing, love and acceptance. Only following this, can I return to the present with a deep inhale, pause, exhale.
Do not resist, surrender, embrace and love!