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🌿 Finding Your Window: A Gentle Guide to the Window of Tolerance

Nervous system healing - somatic counselling

Ever feel like your emotions are driving the car and you’re just hanging on for dear life in the back seat? One minute you're fine, and the next—bam! Overwhelmed, shut down, or maybe rage-texting your group chat?

If that sounds familiar, first of all: you’re human. Second of all: let’s talk about something called the Window of Tolerance—a simple but powerful concept that can help us understand how trauma and stress affect our emotional world.

 So... What Is the Window of Tolerance?

Imagine your emotional world as a house. The window is where you feel most balanced—you can think clearly, respond (not react), and ride the ups and downs of life without feeling totally out of control.

In this window, you feel grounded, safe, present, and connected. You still have emotions (of course!), but they’re manageable. You're in the driver's seat.

But trauma—especially unresolved trauma—can shrink that window. A lot.


🚪 When We're Outside the Window...

When we move outside the window, we tend to go in one of two directions:

1. Hyperarousal (Too Much, Too Fast):
Think racing thoughts, anxiety, anger, panic, hypervigilance. Your nervous system is on high alert. It’s like your body slammed the gas pedal without asking.

2. Hypoarousal (Too Little, Too Numb):
This is the freeze response. You might feel foggy, shut down, disconnected, or like you're floating outside of your body. It’s like your system hit the brakes and pulled the emergency stop.

Both of these are normal survival responses. Your body is trying to protect you—it's just sometimes doing it at the wrong time, or a little too intensely.


🌿 Why It Matters in Trauma Counselling

In trauma therapy, one of our biggest goals is helping you widen your Window of Tolerance—so you can handle stress, feel your feelings safely, and stay present more often.

We do this gently. No pushing. No “just talk about it and you'll feel better.” (Spoiler: that doesn't always work.)

Instead, we focus on helping your nervous system feel safe again. That might look like:

  • Practicing grounding and mindfulness

  • Learning to notice early signs of hyper- or hypo-arousal

  • Using breath, movement, and somatic tools

  • Creating safe, predictable relationships (like the one with your therapist!)


🪴 You're Not "Too Much" or "Too Sensitive"

Let’s be real—if you've been told you're too emotional, too reactive, or too shut down, please know this: you’re not broken. You're likely doing your best to survive with a nervous system that’s been through a lot.

At B-rooted, we see you. We know trauma isn’t just about the Big Things—it can be a million little things that left you feeling unseen, unsafe, or overwhelmed.

The good news? With support, safety, and time, your window can expand. You can learn to ride the waves instead of feeling knocked down by them.


đź’¬ Want to Explore Your Window?

Our therapists at B-rooted Counselling work from a trauma-informed lens to help you understand your nervous system, find your footing, and reconnect with the version of you that feels more… you.

And if you're not ready for sessions just yet, no pressure—follow along on Instagram or check out our other blog posts for more gentle tools and insights.


You deserve a life where your emotions are companions—not chaos. Let's open that window together. 💚

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